Some members of the staff are intrigued by the idea - particularly baker Marcus (Lionel Boyce), whose imagination has been ignited by Carmy’s arrival - but others are confused, and Tina (Liza Colón-Zayas) is so annoyed with all these attempts to change the place that she briefly pretends she doesn’t speak English. Sydney promises that after a rough adjustment, this will make everything run much more smoothly.

He promotes ambitious new hire Sydney (Ayo Edebiri) to sous-chef, and tells her to institute a French-brigade hierarchy of the kind she and Carmy are used to from their work in fancier restaurants. Instead, after spending two episodes clashing with the kitchen staff - and particularly with Michael’s stubborn, obnoxious best friend, “cousin” Richie (Ebon Moss-Bachrach) - over trying to run things the way they do in Michelin star restaurants versus Michael’s haphazard “system,” Carmy decides to make a more formal change. The show’s main character Carmy (Jeremy Allen White), a James Beard Award-winning chef who has come home to save the family business after the death by suicide of his brother Michael (played in flashbacks by Jon Bernthal), is barely even in it. The scene that inspired my break was actually more mild than many that had preceded it. It was too intense, too uncomfortable, too raw.

Watching it felt like being stuck in that kitchen with the cooks as equipment broke, tempers clashed, and no amount of time ever seemed enough to make sure all the food was ready for the arrival of hungry customers. The show, set in a busy Chicago sandwich shop, was doing almost too good a job at creating atmosphere. The first time I attempted to watch The Bear, I made it about 10 minutes into the third episode before needing a break.

This post contains spoilers for the first season of FX’s The Bear, now streaming in its entirety on Hulu.

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